


Long Distance Call | Zen/Reader

by shyangel



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Body Image, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Insecurity, Mental Health Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 00:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20267215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyangel/pseuds/shyangel
Summary: Your depression and self-esteem issues are playing up whilst your boyfriend, Zen, is miles away for work. Instead of finding solace in his arms, you'll have to make do with the next best thing; a phone call.





	Long Distance Call | Zen/Reader

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not really happy with my writing in this one, but idk maybe it can help someone else

“Y/N… I’m happy to hear your voice, but it’s late - is everything alright,  _ jagiya _ ?” Zen’s voice, though quiet through the static of the phone, rung with concern. You swallowed, burying further beneath your blankets and blinking back burning tears.

“Y-yeah… just wanted to hear your voice,” you whispered. Zen was silent for a beat.

“...are you sure,  _ jagiya _ ? You sound upset,” he pressed kindly. You took a shaky breath.

“How was your day, Zenny?” you asked in lieu of answering. Although clearly unsatisfied with your response, Zen let it slide, at least for now. He could only hope that you’d talk to him when you were ready.

“Long - we had a lot of outtakes today, the Director didn’t seem to be satisfied with anything I did…” he sighed. “I’m not sure our visions for my character align… I’m going to talk to him about it first thing tomorrow- well, today, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you up, then… I’m sure you’ll work it out with the Director. You’re a wonderful actor, Zen,” you said, sniffling.

“ _ Jagiya _ , are you crying?” Zen asked in worry. You gave a tiny cough to clear your throat.

“I’m fine,” you insisted. “I’m sorry for calling, I’ll let you get some rest…”

“Y/N, if you hang up, I’ll just keep calling you back until you talk to me. What’s wrong, beautiful?” His voice was urgent, and you felt your heart break. You were causing him pain - this was the last thing you wanted to do to anyone, ever, let alone the man you loved.

“I’m just…” You paused to sigh. “It’s nothing, I’m sorry. You have other things to worry about, I don’t want to put my problems on you. I’m sorry…”

“Please,  _ jagiya _ , you always soothe my problems - let me help with yours, too. Nothing would make me sadder than to think you don’t trust me with your concerns,” he said, voice laden with hurt. You bit back a choked sob.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Zenny, I just… I guess I’m just having a rough patch. It- it happens sometimes, I… have I told you about my depression?” Your voice was barely audible, and yet Zen was hanging on your every word.

“What?! No, you haven’t… Y/N, what can I do?” he pleaded. “Are you seeing a professional?”

“Yeah, I… I see a therapist. I have an appointment next week, it’s just- it just hits hard sometimes, y’know? And sometimes it just helps to talk, but the last thing I want to do is keep you from doing anything more important… I shouldn’t have called, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be putting this on you,” you whispered, your words broken with sobs you struggled to swallow. 

“Oh,  _ jagiya _ , I wish I could hold you,” Zen murmured. “You don’t have anything to apologise for - if you’re struggling, I’d never want you to hide it for my sake. All I want to do is help you, honey… I love you, I can’t stand to hear such pain in your voice… I wish I could take you into my arms and make all of the hurt disappear.”

“Me, too,” you mumbled. “God, Zen, you’re so perfect, I- I don’t deserve someone as kind and considerate as you. I don’t deserve you at all.” Your voice broke, and you couldn’t restrain the shaky sob that followed. Your throat seemed to close up as you cried, and you hugged the blankets tighter around you in a vain attempt to stave off the coldness that had settled in the hollow point in your chest. But alas, no mountain of blankets could warm such a torment, and no amount of Zen’s love could fix the chemical imbalance in your brain.

“Y/N, that is the furthest thing from the truth that I’ve ever heard,” Zen said, his voice kind, yet stern. “If anything, the opposite is true - no one in the world is worthy of the love, kindness and generosity you so willingly give. It doesn’t matter who they are; you treat others only with gentleness. You need to save some of that compassion for yourself, too,  _ jagiya _ . You are so beautiful, funny, genuine… you’ve made me a better man. My life would be empty without you in it - you are the most precious blessing I’ve ever received.”

“But Zen, isn’t it obvious that you deserve so much better than me? Even your fans see it… you’re so beautiful, so talented, and I’m… I’m just the fat, less-than plain girl who somehow was lucky enough to find herself on your arm. I don’t understand why you’d choose me when you could have anyone else,” you confessed.

“ _ Jagiya _ , please, don’t speak of yourself like that! Your body is perfect, my love - the way it fits so perfectly against mine, how soft you are when we cuddle, like a warm pillow I never want to let go of. You are so beautiful,  _ jagiya _ \- the depth of your eyes, the softness of your skin, your hair… to me, all other girls pale in comparison to you,” Zen insisted passionately. “I wish I were with you now, so that I could kiss you, and hug you, and leave no doubts in your mind of my love for you, and of your boundless worthiness.”

“I wish you were here as well, Zen,” you admitted. “How much longer are you on location?”

“One more night after tonight,” he said. “But if you need me, I can come home earlier…”

“No, no, that’s okay,” you said quickly. “Please don’t - I’d feel terrible if you jeopardised this job, just for me.”

“My job means nothing to me if you aren’t happy,  _ jagiya _ ,” he told you.

“I mean it, Zen… don’t come home until you wrap, okay?”

You heard Zen’s heavy sigh, and the rustle of his silvery hair against the phone as he nodded.

“Alright,  _ jagiya _ … well, if I can’t be home with you… would you feel better if I sang you to sleep? You really should rest, my love…”

“That would make me very happy,” you sniffled, smiling tearfully despite the fact he couldn’t see it. You could almost feel the sad smile he gave in return.

“Okay, my love… here I go…”

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed please leave a kudos and a comment! comments are the best fuel for motivation!


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